Years ago, I was going through a really rough time. The exact how, what, and why aren't really important anymore but I definitely wasn't in a good place. At first, the boy I was dating thought he could fix me. When he couldn't, our relationship was over. Not long after, my closest friend at the time followed him in the same way. I will never ever forget her telling me that she just couldn't stick around and watch me be sad. It took me years to find any peace with what happened, with the idea that people I trusted, people who loved me, could walk away like that. Months later I sat down and talked to a priest about everything that had happened, about my confusion, my anger, my hurt. His response was nothing I ever would have anticipated.
Maybe they did you a favor.
It didn't feel like a favor at all. It felt very much like the opposite of a favor. The priest didn't stop there though. He went on to suggest that people who walk out of your life when things get rough aren't friends at all. That I was better off without those kind of people. I didn't even think priests could say that kind of thing.
Luckily for me, I found better friends. Friends who loved me exactly where I was. Friends who were sad that I was sad but knew that sometimes you just need time and space to be sad. Because that's okay.
Recently a friend going through a rough time, mentioned that they felt they had to be a certain way- the way they were before. Our situations are so different but all I could think in that moment was that I needed my friend to know that it's okay to be different, to be sad, for as long as it takes. Because everyone who loves her will be sad with her and when, down the road, a day comes that feels a little warmer and a little sunnier and a little better, we'll all be there for that too.
