Big Changes

A friend recently mentioned, in casual conversation, that they would never consider a vacation within a month of moving. He enumerated the reasons that it was a lousy idea. I glared over the table and tried hard to not start hyperventilating. Obviously, I doubt anyone actually sits around and thinks ”man, the week before I move would be an awesome time to go on vacation.” I sure didn’t but sometimes the decision is just taken out of your hands.

A year ago, we planned a family vacation to the Adirondack State Park in New York State for Mom’s birthday. It was conveniently book-ended by a few days in Oshkosh, WI for the annual AirVenture airshow and a friend’s wedding in Jay, VT. All awesome things but the trip was quickly getting technically complicated. The plan was for the whole family to converge on Oshkosh and then fly to NY and, ultimately, back south together. Then my husband took his new job in Atlanta and we shuffled the plans a little. I flew from Houston to Atlanta on the front end of the trip for a quick tour of houses before we both jetted back out to Wisconsin. Just another relaxing vacation for our family.

Then, in early July, our house in Houston went under contract. I won’t go into our experience with the buyers here (at least not yet) other than to say it was awful. When all was said and done though, we had a closing date of August 4th, just 5 short days after I would return home from our big, multi-stop trip. We were given so little time between contract and closing that our movers had limited availability and we were scheduled for move out on July 31st and August 1st. In case you’re not counting (and who could blame you), that means the movers arrived 12 hours after I got home.

No problem right? You get everything done in advance right? That’s entirely my wheelhouse and I’m overly familiar with elaborately pre-planned moves. There was only one small, insignificant hiccup. In Texas, there is typically a 10 day “Option” period where home buyers can back out of a sale for any reason. So many things went wrong during the contract period on the house that the option period was not set to end until days after I had left for vacation. Since everything up to that point had gone anywhere from “rocky” to “downright awful,” I was hesitant to do much of the pre-move work that could not be easily undone before I left just in case the sale fell through.

The next twelve hours will be crazy and it’s hard to imagine that everything will get done. It feels much like the Sunday that I sat in church before the week of my doctoral defense and could not, for the life of me, imagine that the next Sunday would ever come. Time keeps moving though so I know that this too will be behind me soon enough. Family will be coming Monday night to help me out with the things that do not need to be finished before the house is packed up and next weekend is looking pretty vacation-y from here so that’s something to look forward to. The even better news? Our 9am, Saturday-before-boarding-a-flight house touring netted us a house in Atlanta and, God willing, we’ll be closing in September!

This too shall pass

I haven't forgotten to blog so much as I haven't wanted to write about the things that are going on in our lives at the moment. Looked at through the right lens (let's call it the Erma Bombeck lens), they could be funny. But when it's you and your life and you're in the middle of it, nothing about it seems funny at all. On my recent good days, I feel lucky to have so many supportive friends and family members who can help us make this transition from Texas to Georgia easier. For instance, our cats are "vacationing" at their Grandparents house and, though I miss them intensely, I know how much time and effort and worry their vacation is saving me. On my less good days, I wonder what I did wrong in a previous life and fantasize about punching previous-life-me in the face because thanks a lot previous me.

The less satisfying truth is that, sometimes, for no reason at all, things just go wrong. Too bad I can't punch "nothing at all" in the face. (Here my brain helpfully suggests that I can punch the air and then I sass myself with the knowledge that air is still something and that punching it will not make me feel better at all.) So here we are, in the middle of a house sale in which the only thing that might go right is that we sell a house. (If you are thinking that that sounds pretty alright, ask me for the full story sometime but come prepared with a stiff drink to share.) Here's a barometer for the last two weeks: Assume events can be placed on a sliding scale that ranges from awful to less awful to neutral to good to genuinely fantastic. The least less awful thing that has happened is that our garbage disposal fell out of our sink, with food in it, while I was doing dishes. You really can't make this stuff up...

In the midst of all this, I was on the phone last night trying to catch up with my Aunt. At the end of the call, after patiently listening to me rant for over an hour, she reminded me that what will happen will happen regardless of whether I am frustrated or scared or angry or even happy or peaceful. It's a true statement though one that I would only take to heart from a handful of people, if that. From nearly anyone else, the same advice would sound trite and chiding. From my Aunt though, it was a warm and loving thing. Despite being true, it's tough advice to put into action but also a little bit freeing. It reminds me that I can only do so much and that, when I have done what I can do, it's time to put the rest aside. Sure, it won't stop me worrying but it does help me let go of some of the anger and frustration that come from feeling like I am a very small person pushing on a very large and immovable wall.